I find myself swinging.
Not on a playground swing.
Not high on dope. But on life.
Swinging into extremes...
One minute I feel I can let it all go
the next I want to hold on
One minute I tell someone off
the next I hang on to every word they say
I cease to be – be myself
I flow with the wind
It takes me high…then swings me low
Sometimes I’m floating…drifting
Then again, I’m lashed
I hurt, I laugh, I cry, I smile
I feel rejuvenated. I feel tired
I understand
And then I don’t
There is no valley
where I can rest in solitude
There are endless hills to climb
Some green and verdant
Where I pause to catch my breath
Some bare and rocky
Where I falter and trip
I watch the familiar faces of loved ones
I derive comfort in their presence
I hear words of friends
Near and far
Some warm, loving
Some harsh, criticizing
I cease to be me...to think for myself
I fail to accept the simple truth
I cannot keep everyone happy
I keep trying otherwise
I keep losing myself
Over and over again
I look at the mirror;
Watch the creases around my eyes
The beginnings of lines around my mouth
I’m aging but I’m not really growing am I?
*sigh*
I sleep a dreamless sleep
I hope to wake up to another morning
Simply to be me
