Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Before it's too late

I wrote this after a fight with a dear friend. We've withstood the test of time, changing circumstances, love, hurt, pain, joy .. it makes me smile reading this and to be reminded of how I was so upset back then. In many ways I am thankful I have the ability to write and express. I am not a confrontational person, so writing is where I am completely expressive and absolutely true to my deepest feelings...

Don’t take me for granted
I stand by you no matter what
I look past your mistakes
I don’t show my pain
But that won’t last
You’re oblivious to the
Changes in me
 
Wake up you need to see
Before it’s too late
For you to change things
And we’re left cursing fate
 
What else?
I’m always there for you
And no,
I didn’t expect anything in return
Being friends, for me
Was never about give and take
I did my fair share of giving
And I’d do it all over again
If I can get past this hurt
You really don’t see it do you?
 
Wake up you need to see
Before it’s too late
For you to change things
And we’re left cursing fate
 
You probably think it’s a trivial thing
Why cry over something
So small and insignificant
But hey, aren’t you the one always saying
"It’s the little things in life that matter"?
 
Wake up you need to see
Before it’s too late for you
To change things
And we’re left cursing fate…
 
You know what’s funny?
You don’t even know I’m hurt
Right now you’re upset
Wondering why I find it tough
To make a simple call.
You think I’m taking you for granted
That’s how it is right?
You never did sense
My disappointment and that...
Yes that hurts even more
 
Wake up you need to see
Before it’s too late
For you to change things
And we’re left cursing fate
And I’m done with this!
Shit poem I know…
Had to let of steam
And that’s done…
Read it…chuck it
And go have some fun!

Friday, March 7, 2014

I thought I could not be hurt


I've always shared my own poems here but I read this online today and loved it. It's titled "I thought I could not be hurt" by Sylvia Plath 
I thought that I could not be hurt;
I thought that I must surely be
impervious to suffering
immune to pain
or agony.
 
My world was warm with April sun
my thoughts were spangled green and gold;
my soul filled up with joy, yet
felt the sharp, sweet pain that only joy
can hold.
 
My spirit soared above the gulls
that, swooping breathlessly so high
o'erhead, now seem to brush their
whirring wings against the blue roof of
the sky.
 
(How frail the human heart must be
a throbbing pulse, a trembling thing
a fragile, shining instrument
of crystal, which can either weep,
or sing.)
 
Then, suddenly my world turned gray,
and darkness wiped aside my joy.
A dull and aching void was left
where careless hands had reached out to
destroy
my silver web of happiness.
 
The hands then stopped in wonderment,
for, loving me, they wept to see
the tattered ruins of my firmament
 
(How frail the human heart must be
a mirrored pool of thought. So deep
and tremulous an instrument
of glass that it can either sing,
or weep).
 

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Choices...

** Re-posting this one. It was first posted in 2006 ... circumstances had me thinking and sharing it again with a few lines added and changed...

This is an attempt to write on my understanding of how people would feel in a forced relationship. How does one feel when the love is gone and the relationship is there simply for the sake of appearances??...

At times I feel
I live my life in vain
Nothing to gain...
Negativity overwhelms me
Why does it get to me?

I know there's sunshine
After the rain...
But it seems forever mine
This mind numbing pain

I could fake yet another smile
Maybe even force a laugh
Once in a while
They wouldn't guess
They couldn't care less...

We live the choices we make
You and I could play this game forever
Faking our separate lives together

You in your world
and me in mine...
For people around us...
For everyone's sake
Faking joys...Faking happiness....

Never truly away from each other
In our hearts always together...
Defined by our choices
Silencing our true voices...

Friday, February 28, 2014

Angel

 Last night I dreamt of you
I cuddled you soft and warm
An angel in my arms
Sleeping peacefully calm

I kissed your tiny feet
As your tiny hands
Reached out to me
I held you close
Doted on you totally
I saw myself love you
Unconditionally

In a perfect world
Where love triumphs
Unimaginable as it may seem
This beautiful spring
You would have been
My reality…Not given up
Like a lost dream

Friday, February 14, 2014

Love that was

On Valentines...

Your smile is what I remember
the first time we met
Your smile is what I now try
so hard to forget

Do you remember our first
conversation?
Bits and pieces float around
in my head..my heart

And now that we're
not together
it's the memories of us
that keep me from
falling apart...

I want to live for
the memories of
the hours we shared
when you seem to
show you cared...

I struggle to live through
the hours without...
facing my demons 
and hearing them shout...

Love was never enough
Love just never was...
I will never learn, will I?
That this is final...
not a momentary pause...

But tell me...
Do you ever feel
the way I do?

Do you let reality
fade away...
and feel tempted to
say it too

say...I love you?

the way I still do...

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Done with loving...

Penned sometime ago ... shared today

"I'm done with loving 
done with giving 
without receiving 

When it's gone 
nothing else matters 
Love is a game
it breaks...it shatters 

 a game of lies 
of selfish desire 
a path of roses 
to a raging fire 

I could learn 
to play too 
take you for a ride 
I could lose it too 
this thing called pride 

My lesson I've learnt 
my broken heart nursed 
Yet I won't wish 
upon you a life cursed 

There in the depths 
of all my misery 
you've occupied 
a part of me 

Let me be... set me free... 

No more pain 
for your selfish gain 

It isn't you, is it? 

It's I holding on 
It's I not letting go 
Its my weakness 
and i'm letting it show 

I'm done with loving 
done with giving 
without receiving"

Friday, May 31, 2013

DREAM...

"Hmmm…this particular poem may seem a little vague and I cannot elaborate the circumstances and situation that prompted the lines below…it’s not as easy as it seems…to forget…even if there is no one to remember…the dream is never easy to let go…"

A dream that lasted a day or two
A dream woven around you
But you were never meant to be
A dream I wish I never did see

Yes…God works in mysterious ways
And…I know in just a few more days
You'll be a distant memory
Even though you were a part of me

Alone I can't hold back my tears
Alone I confront my worst fears
I never did know you...see you...hold you
You didn't...and you don't exist
Yet I loved you...and I still do

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Prelude to pain

Dedicated to the “casual fling” ... whatever!
I have this craving
That’s driving me insane
It’s a prelude to pain

I wanna stay
Don’t push me away
Wanna give this one night
Whatever I’ve got

You hear me?

I wanna experience
Ecstasy
Make it real
This never ending
Fantasy

You want no strings attached
I can live with that
It’s no curse
I’ve lived with regret worse

It’s a prelude to pain
My loss your gain

I wanna stay
Don’t push me away
Wanna give this one night
Whatever I’ve got

You hear me?

I’ll live with
The regret
Coz baby right now,
I wanna give you
A night
You’ll never forget!

It’s a prelude to pain
My loss your gain

Tomorrow
You’ll probably
Look right through me
You think that scares me?
Maybe…

But I wanna look at tonight
And forget tomorrow
Forget yesterday
Tonight it’s going to be magic
Just my way

Yes! I’m gonna
Satisfy this craving
That’s driving me insane
It’s a prelude to pain
My loss your gain!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

The End

All good things come to an end
Nothing lasts forever
The smile of a friend
Changes to the cold stare
Of a stranger

Sharing caring loving
Gone in the blink of an eye
“Us” losing out to “I”
Nothing left to say
Only a desire to
Walk away
Memories remain
They bring a tear...a smile
And all the pain
Fades after a while

It simply doesn’t matter
Life moves on
Till there’s thing left
The good...the bad...
Like “us” they’re all gone...

Friday, July 23, 2010

Then and Now

It's been a while since I last wrote here. Life's kept me busy in a nice way. The poem below was a spontaneous one and has not gone through any editing as such. Inspired by the lives of many around me.

 That was then
This is now
We’ve changed
You and I
And
We can’t fathom
How

Then there were
Secret smiles
Clandestine conversations
Passionate encounters
Every second together
Mattered
Every minute apart
Shattered

Now all that’s left is
Lingering feelings
Unfulfilled desires
Longings
Quiet sighs
Silent tears
Known and
Unknown
Fears

Even as I
Voice myself
Through my words
I can sense
Your discomfort
Try as I might
It will end
There’s a sense
Of finality
Tonight

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Reason to smile...

A new dream
Unreal as it may seem
A new beginning
A new longing…

My heart sings
A new song
A lil heartbeat in me
A lil life in me

I count the days
Plan in many ways
Praying…silently
Waiting … patiently!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Let's get away...

I know solitude is rare
To think,
Of a time gone by

Sitting here humming
That old song…
I sigh …

It’s tempting to get away
Escape to that quiet
Solitude…
Just you and I

Time spent
In your arms
Your gentle touch
Soft kisses
Away from
Eyes that pry…

Memories that gave
Me reason
To smile
And rare occasions
that made
me cry

I smile
As I catch
That familiar
Twinkle
In your eye

I can read your mind
My love
We think alike
You and I …

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

“If one does not understand a person, one tends to regard him as a fool.”

I pick up subtle hints...
I'm not a fool you see...

I can only be oblivious when
I'm not aware...
If you choose to percieve it
as I don't care...

That's not my problem is it?

I don't have ESP...
I can't sit here and
sense you're not okay
I can't sit here
and know it all...no way!

Lack of communication
is the reason why...
When I reached out asking why...
I got no reply...

Did you intend for me
to hear it from others?
To be the last one to know?
Fine so be it...
But don't come back and
throw subtle hints...

I don't know what hurts more...
The fact that you never told me why?
Or
The fact that you expected me to know why?
Times like these I don't even know
why I try..
waste my emotions...
why do I cry?

Tears come easy...
but not my ability
to deal with
emotions so
crazy...

I'm not a fool?
I think I am...

You make me believe ... I am...

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Love happens...

Simply in that kinda mushy sentimental mood :P

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Who needs words when
your smile says it all
Who needs touches when
your eyes feel it all

I'm not a believer in
"love happens just once"
love happens....
time and again
it happens,
every time I catch
your glance...

Unbelievable...amazing
I never thought I could
feel this way
I never thought someday
I'd hear myself say
"Stay..."

Your love does all that
and more
It's like nothing
I've felt
before
of that I'm sure :)

Who needs words when
your smile says it all
Who needs touches when
your eyes feel it all

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Fresh - A feeling

The word of the week on our group blog is "Fresh" and below are lines that came to my mind... happy reading :)

Fresh is a feeling
a feeling divine
a new begining
something like
a new bottle but old wine :)

Fresh is a feeling
a sweet and pure fragrance
leaves me smiling
something like

the aroma of our friendship
untouched by pretense...

Monday, September 24, 2007

Words...

Words can hurt
Slice across your heart
Words can heal
Let out every emotion you feel

Words can make friends
Settle fights, make amends
Words can express
Say it right and impress

Words – language no bar
Bringing people close – near or far
Words unite
When used right

Use yours the way
you’d want others too
Use words to reach out to all
And bring people closer to you.

God gave us this gift of words
Use it well
And unite different worlds
Spread sunshine, joy and happiness
With every emotion you express!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Obsession

Ok this one I'm not too sure about. But I penned it down all the same and so it finds a place in "Creative Corner". Love can be liberating, exhilarating...love can be otherwise too. Where does one go when love becomes an obsession. No space to grow or maybe outgrow it?

I never denied
That I cried.
I shed my tears
Lived with my fears

Your love’s an obsession
And it hurts…

I thought you understood
I gave it all I could

We’ve changed
You and I
Face it
You won’t even try

I know what
You’re thinking
But it isn’t like that
It’s not just you
I’m hurting too…

One of us had to walk away
It had to be me…
I took the blame

But this pain you’re feeling
It isn’t any different
I feel the same…

We’ve changed
You and I
Face it
You won’t even try

Your love’s an obsession
And it hurts…

Friday, August 31, 2007

Goodbye...

Love isn't always the only thing to sustain a relationship. I agree it's "the reason" why two people get together but it's not "the only reason" to stay together. Sometimes, we walk away from it unwillingly. The lines below try to grasp that feeling of "letting go"...



I know that look...
that..
look in your eye...
it makes me
wanna sigh

I know that touch...
that
touch of your finger
I simply
want it to linger...

feeling your breath...
down my neck...
smiling...
feeling that simple peck...

my head resting...
resting...
on your arm...
quiet moments...
moment of...
bliss..
ecstasy...
of peace and calm...

Feels like a dream...
Don't want to wake up..
Not now...
Not ever...
Reality brings me back
to the present
forever...

Walking away..
knowing...
your eyes following me...
I won't
won't
turn back...
my tears won't be
for you to see...

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Time Out

Every once in a while we need time alone. When feelings overwhelm us, when we need time to introspect, when the answers elude us...we seek solace in silence. We find answers from within. This was written on one such occasion...


I need time to
walk my way

I need time to
push negativity away

I need time to
believe and pray

I need time to
speak my mind
and
have my say

And in all of this
I need for you to
understand
I am not
pushing you away

If nothing else
maybe...
it will bring us
closer than before
in every possible way

I need time
time to think
to be
to cry
to feel
to heal

Just give me time...

Monday, August 20, 2007

Love is Special

I think we lose ourselves in thinking too much...sometimes life's not as complicated as we make it out to be. We really shouldn't go looking for problems where there aren't any and I really do believe that when we go looking for trouble, we've already let them in :) .. Below are simple lines to remind us why we need to let go of negativity and embrace a whole lot of loving!!!


Sunshine - bright and happy
Moonshine - warm and cozy

Love is what makes
An ordinary day
So special

Smiles - genuine and soothing
Laughter - candid and refreshing

Love is what makes
Simple feelings
So special


Embrace it
Feel it
Show it
Don't shun it

Love is what makes
You and me
So real
and
So very SPECIAL!

Monday, July 16, 2007

Steer Clear

Who doesn't like to vent right? This poem below was written after a rather crazy fight with someone :P. Fact is it's usually fights with people who matter and are close to us that get us so worked up. I don't react in extremes with people who I don't know too well. But anyway, read ahead if you want to know what's coming your way if you decide to mess with me :D...
You don't like what u see...
You say I’m being unfair...
You think u know me...
You think I really care?

You have no clue...
I’m not just about
Sentimental shit...
Agree with you…
Day in and day out...
That’s just something
I won’t do…


When I have a bad time,
When I’m in that frame of mind...
It makes no difference
If my poem doesn’t rhyme
And makes no sense…

So long as you get the drift…
Read my lips loud and clear…
Stay out of my face…
Get out of here…
And off my case!